


Fair Enough

by thespookiest



Category: DCU, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Humor, M/M, One Shot, this started out as a headcannon ages ago and now here we are
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-02
Updated: 2017-01-02
Packaged: 2018-09-14 04:03:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9160435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thespookiest/pseuds/thespookiest
Summary: Bruce and Clark have a fun night in bed - but  it's not your typical night





	

“And then Perry got pretty upset because Lois and I didn’t have our report ready yet, but to be fair, he assigned a pretty big piece with far too little time.” Clark sighed, taking off his glasses and rubbing his eyes. “Today was just a long day, is all. Thanks for listening to me rant.” He chuckled, looking at Bruce as he shook his head. 

“You’ve listened to me rant about the smallest things ever, like Damian for example.”

Damian let out an offended sound. “Mark my words, Father! I will be taller than you one day!”

Jason snorted, rolling his eyes as he finished the last bite of his dinner. “Whatever you say, pipsqueak.”

“In all fairness, Jay, you used to be roughly Damian’s height when you were robin. Maybe just a smidge taller. Now look at you!” Dick laughed when he was met with a glare from Jason. 

Clark watched the entire exchange with a pleased smile. Although the commotion and teasing was roughly similar to his days at work, this was so much better. It was the little things that brought him joy, such as this banter that reminded him he was part of such an amazing and beautiful family. 

Alfred came in, silently taking away dishes and nodding whenever he received thanks. “I suggest going to bed now, everyone. I know you hardly ever take nights off from patrol, and I believe it would be a far better idea to get a lot of sleep rather than stay up late playing video games or hacking into the government system.” 

Tim sheepishly laughed, taking a sip from his bottle of water. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, Alf.”

Damian rolled his eyes, while Bruce let out a quiet laugh. “He’s right you guys, time to go to sleep. Otherwise I don’t want to hear any complaints on the intercoms tomorrow night. Understood?”

“Someone seems to be in a hurry to get us out of your hair. Got late night plans with the husband?” Jason asked with a knowing smirk, triggering noises of disgust and fake barfing noises.

“Oh, for Christ’s sake, just go to bed.” Bruce shook his head, but couldn’t quite disguise the laughter that threatened to slip out.   
Everyone stood up and said their ‘goodnight’s, going off to their own rooms. 

“Good night Alfred! Thank you for dinner, it was absolutely delicious, as always!”

“It’s really no trouble at all, it’s what I do. But you are welcome, master Clark. You always were my favorite out of all of Bruce’s lov—”

“Alfred.” Bruce cut him off with a warning tone. 

“Goodnight Master Bruce,” Alfred bowed slightly, then went back to clearing the table. 

Clark laughed, following Bruce down the hallway to their shared bedroom. “So, tell me, Dark Knight, why the night off for everyone? It’s not even a holiday.”

The other man shrugged, taking Clark’s hand in his own as they continued their walk. “I don’t know, I just thought it’d be nice. Plus, we never really get to just…be, y’know? We can just relax.”

The pair made it to the room and started getting ready for bed, making teasing comments here and there, before finally settling down into bed. Clark laid down on his side, practically inviting Bruce to come slither up behind him and wrap his arms around him. Clark let out a little hum, setting one of his hands on top of Bruce’s.

“This is nice. I sometimes wish we could do this more often.”

Bruce snorted. “Only sometimes?”

With a laugh, Clark turned his head to place a sloppy kiss somewhere on Bruce’s face. “You know what I mean!”

“mmm, I’m not entirely sure. You just admitted to only sometimes thinking about me.”

“Oh, I did? And how often do you think of me?”

Bruce nuzzled his face into the crook of Clark’s neck, placing a trail of kisses leading up to his ear before whispering “all the damn time”.

Clark blushed, feeling a small smile creep up onto his lips. “Really now?”

“Mm-hm.” Bruce continued kissing along Clark’s neck, occasionally nipping at the skin, making Clark gasp, which in turn, made Bruce smirk. “Hey, babe, I wanna try something.”

“What is it?” Clark started to turn his body so he could face Bruce, but was stopped. 

“No no, stay like that. It’s called sporking.”

“…sporking?”

“Yeah, it’s like spooning, but with a twist.”

“Bruce, if you put your bon—”

“Oh, come on, I’m classier than that!”

Clark huffed, but stayed where he was. “Alright, dazzle me, I guess.”

Bruce went back to his original position behind Clark, and slowly brought up his leg without Clark noticing. “Aaaaaand……SPORK!” With all his might, he jutted his leg out at Clark’s back, sending him flying off the bed with a startled gasp. Bruce burst out laughing, creeping to the edge of the bed. 

Clark was laying on his back, too shocked to say much of anything. 

“A-are you okay?” Bruce asked between choked laughs. “Oh my god, that was the best thing I’ve ever done holy shit holy shit!”

Clark stood up without a word, crossing his arms over his chest, and glared at Bruce. 

“What? Oh, come on, that was funny!”

“Is that the real reason you had everyone take the night off.”

“…Possibly? I thought of it today and I couldn’t wait until, like, thanksgiving or something, that was way too far away!”

Clark rolled his eyes, but got back into bed nonetheless. 

“Come on, are you mad?”

“No, just disappointed.”

Bruce rolled his eyes with a scoff, though laughed a little, as did Clark. “Yeah yeah, whatever you say sweetheart.”

“I’ve got half a mind to make you sleep on the couch.”

“Jokes on you, the couches in here are almost as comfortable as the bed.”

“Maybe, but I wouldn’t be there.”

At this, Bruce pursed his lips and sighed. “Okay fine, you win.”

Clark crawled up behind Bruce, wrapping his arms around Bruce’s waist very gently, and nuzzled his face into Bruce’s hair. 

“mm, I know you couldn’t stay mad at me,” Bruce teased with a singsongy voice.

“Shut up.”

Bruce chuckled, closing his eyes and focusing his attention on Clark’s steady breathing.   
Clark listened to Bruce’s heartbeat, waiting for it to slow down enough to signify that he was about to fall asleep. When it reached this point, Clark followed in Bruce’s footsteps. Careful not to wake his sleeping husband, he brought his leg up and gently rested his foot on Bruce’s back, then leaned down to his ear and whispered “spork”.  
Before Bruce knew what was happening, Clark pushed his leg out with all his force, launching a yelling Bruce out of bed, and through the wall. He flew into Damian’s room, who started screaming, which lead to Jason and Tim running to his room, also screaming.   
Bruce lay face down in the rubble of what used to be the wall separating his room from his son’s, coughing. “Fair enough,” he faintly whispered, his voice clearly strained. 

“What the hell is going on in here?!” Dick demanded, a concerned eyebrow raised at the sight: Clark laughing his ass off as he helped Bruce up, choking out “holy shit I’m so sorry”, damian hugging his teddy bear for dear life while screaming, and Tim and Jason, holding baseball bats, also screaming for whatever reason. 

Alfred eventually made his way to the scene, took one look into the room, and promptly turned back around to his quarters.   
Clark doubled over in laughter while Bruce held onto his shoulder to keep himself upright. “I didn’t think I was pushing that hard oh my god! And you just flew right out! Through the wall! That was the loudest thing ever oh my god! And, and Damian! Poor kid oh my god, are you okay?”   
Damian was now out of breath, glaring at Clark while still clutching the teddy bear everyone had thought he had gotten rid of. “I hate each and every one of you.”

Clark started laughing harder. “And Jason and Tim! You guys were ready to defend your baby brother oh my god, that’s adorable! You even came armed!”   
Jason and Tim both looked at each other, realizing they both came in with baseball bats, and couldn’t help but laugh a little. 

Dick raised his hand. “May I ask why you decided launching Bruce through a wall at midnight was an appropriate thing to do?”

Bruce pointed to himself. “My fault. He wanted revenge because I did the same thing earlier, though a lot more gently.” He glared at Clark, rubbing his side. 

“I don’t even care how mad you are right now, that was the best thing I’ve ever done.”  
Dick shook his head and laughed, turning to leave Damian’s room with Jason following behind. Tim said goodnight and left shortly after, his laughter echoing down the hallway.

“I would greatly appreciate it if you two promise not to do anything disgusting until my wall is prepared.” Damian kept the scowl on his face, his voice raspy.

“Yessir. Sorry about that,” Clark chuckled, helping Bruce back to bed.

“I’m never forgetting this,” Clark laughed, holding Bruce in his arms after he promised not to Spork him again.   
After a couple seconds, Bruce responded with “fair enough,” sending the two into a fit of laughter with Damian audibly groaning in the background.

**Author's Note:**

> Well this was a headcannon I had made for a friend ages ago, and she had me write it out for her christmas present, so here we are! This is my first time publicly posting a fic (aside from a horrible one i posted on wattpad years ago) so please comment any suggestions you have! Thank you!


End file.
